epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
