I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
