she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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