Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.