never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?