So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
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I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.