none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Girls should come with a carfax report
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
