Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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