At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.