Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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