There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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