just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize