How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
