that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
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Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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