Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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