The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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