Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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