when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
