he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
why do cheetos always look like penises
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
