I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just invented taco cereal.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
