It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
