I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
