I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize