She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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