Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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