I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My bed smells like the plague
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