What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
