whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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