My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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