they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Vodka?
Forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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