Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
