just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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