when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize