He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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