Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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