just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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