Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
