I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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