My friends, they love my intelligence
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
We smell like vodka and hangover
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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