why didn't you poke me back
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
