I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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