I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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