I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
