He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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