I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
