Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
