Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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