Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
