my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
