I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
