apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
ttyl tear gas
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
