Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
