...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
