I think this baby is eyeing my beer
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
