I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
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He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
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Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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