so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
