I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
50% drunk capacity currently
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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