if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
