I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
