The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
