so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
