Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize