i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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