Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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