every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
