If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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