you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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