you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
