I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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