If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
