Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
